its amazing how long you can live life surrounded by a haze - why is life this way? why can’t i fix it? am i the victim? am i not? God, where are you?
ultimately the haze is a compilation of your questions and you find yourself continuing to ask questions instead of seriously trying to answer even one. then out of nowhere - WHAM - maybe something happens to trigger it or perhaps nothing at all, but here you are [growing] answering question after question - sliding down an avalanche of answers.
at the end of the day - God provides, smiles warm your face and spirit, and questions never die.
i’ve learned these things recently. the last several months have been hazy. but one week ago i started sliding down the mountain. this whole image gives me an entirely different perspective of avalanches.
in other news: i’m off to find a job.
cheers.
sometimes all i want is for people to believe in themselves. because having someone else believe in you doesn’t always suffice.
i’m finding out that its terrifying to be inside your own body - and you go through times when only your own opinion matters to the being inside your skin. a friend at dinner brought up the point that we’re all isolated in our own bodies. we’re all united in loneliness. perhaps the acknowledgment of that would ease the feeling of no other person ever understanding the circumstance of your spirit.
then again, there are parts of us that God will only be able to justify for us. even our own opinions melt before our Father.
its my hearts deepest desire for a handful of people to believe in themselves. i’m nowhere near giving up on that hope.
"we must learn to bring ourselves fully to what is in front of us. if we can be content creating in our current role, a change of scenery will not bring us freedom, it will only magnify our dissatisfaction."
— unknown
